Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Aprroved for Adoption...what does it mean?

There are many terms used when it comes to adoption, and for those who have little or no experience with adoption it can all jumble together.  Below is an Adoption Dictionary which will help those not familiar with adoption and its processes.

  • Adoption Plan:  Used to describe when a prospective birth parent chooses adoption for their unborn baby.  Example: "After considering all her options, she made an adoption plan for her baby."
  • Adoption Triad:  An image of a triangle is used to show the relationship between the child who was adopted (at the top of the triangle), their birth parents (at a bottom corner) and their adoptive parents (at the third corner.)  All three corners are connected to each other, signifying a relationship between all 3 parties.  Both sets of parents are on the bottom, bonded to each other, while the child is at the top, symbolizing the will of both the birth parents and the adoptive parents to put the child's best interests above their own.
  • Approved:  A term used to describe when a prospective adoptive couple has gone through the adoption application process (including state certification requirements like a home study) and are now available to be matched with a birth mother.  Another similar term is "certified."
  • At-risk placement:  The baby is placed with an adoptive couple before the parental rights of one or both birth parents has been fully terminated.  It is also called a "legal risk placement."
  • Birth father: Biological father.  Others have used the term "first parents." 
  • Birth mother: Biological mother.  Besides "first parent" or "first mother," the term "tummy mummy" has also been used.
  • Closed adoption: When there is no contact or sharing of identifying information between the birth family and the adoptive family/child.
  • Finalization:  When a judge signs the decree of adoption.  After a legally-prescribed period of time, where the child lives in the home of the adoptive parents and is supervised by a caseworker, the judge will then sign the decree of adoption, "finalizing" the adoption. 
  • Home study:  Part of the state's adoption certification process. This is mostly to make sure your home is a safe environment for a child.
  • ICPC: Acronym that stands for "Interstate Compact for Placement of Children."  An agreement between all 50 states.  It ensures laws are obeyed in both the state the baby was born in and the state the couple lives in when it comes to the adoption of a child.  When a couple goes to a different state and is placed with a child, they must wait to "clear ICPC" before they are allowed to cross state lines with their child.  This can be days, weeks or even longer.
  • ICWA: Acronym that stands for "Indian Child Welfare Act."  It states that the tribe of a Native American child can be involved in the final say whether or not that child can be placed for adoption.
  • Legal father: If a child is born to a married woman, her husband (whether or not he is the biological father) is termed the "legal father."  A similar term is "presumed father."  Some adoptions involve a married husband and wife who make an adoption plan together.  While other adoption situations include three people: a birth mother, a birth father and a legal father. 
  • Matched:  Meaning, a prospective birth mother has been matched with a prospective adoptive couple.  It refers to the time before placement.  In most situations, it is the birth mother who chooses the adoptive couple.  The period of time between being matched and placement can be months, weeks, days or even hours.  
  • Open adoption: When there is contact between a birth family member and the adoptive family/child.  There are varying degrees of openness, ranging from a yearly email, an occasional visit to frequent phone calls, photos, letters and visits, etc.  This is also called an "identified adoption."  Most modern adoptions involve some level of openness.
  • Placed for adoption:  Used instead of negative phrases like "gave up for adoption" or "put up for adoption."  
  • Placement: When a baby is placed in the physical care and custody of the adoptive couple.  Many birth mothers choose to be the one to physically place the baby in the arms of the adoptive mother.  Many adoptive families celebrate the anniversary of "placement day" in their homes.
  • Post-Placement supervision.  The time period between placement and finalization where the adoption caseworker supervises the adoptive family's relationship with the child. Supervision is terminated at finalization.
  • Putative father: A legal term to describe when an unmarried man is considered to be (or claims to be) the biological father of a baby, but has not had a paternity test done.
  • Relinquishment: A legal term to describe the voluntary termination of one's parental rights.
  • Unknown birth father: When a birth mother does not know the name or identity of the birth father.
  • Waiting children:  Children whose birth parents' rights have been fully terminated and who are waiting to be matched with an adoptive family.  This usually is applied to children in the foster-care system.

Thanksgiving Weekend 2011

This year was the year Tyson and I were supposed to spend with Tyson's Parents for Thanksgiving.  Since they are on a mission (living in West Virgina teaching people about Jesus Christ) it was too far for us to be able to travel to be with them.  Instead we were able to go to Southern Utah and spend the weekend with one of Tyson's sisters and her family.  One of the activities we did was hike down the face of a cliff.  Those of us on this hike were Tyson's sister, her husband, their five kids (oldest is 14, second oldest is 13, middle one is 10 and Autistic, next is 8, and youngest is 2), plus Tyson and myself.  Since I have a great fear of heights this was quite the hike for all of us.  Here are the pictures to show we did it :)

(Picture not to be use without written consent from author)
The kids hiked a little faster than the rest of us.
(Picture not to be use without written consent from author)
 As you can see we were only part way down when we took these pictures.

(Picture not to be use without written consent from author)
This is our 2 year old niece with us.  She stayed with one of the adults the whole time, but loved doing what everyone else was doing.